Sometimes, you have to keep your hopes up high and your head down low, while we’re doing song lyrics. Though that’s no match to the Beatles.
Any way. I’m not even going to pretend I know how long I’ve kept a foxhole any more. Could be any number of times in the past that I’ve stuck my head down in the sand. But how long doesn’t matter as much when you’re coming out of it. At that point, it’s just the fact that it’s over.
I know it’s not over. I don’t know why today is different from any other day I could have declared, things are not ok, but they’re a bit better now.
I do know that I managed not to cry several times today; not even realizing until quarter to 6pm that today is the anniversary of my father’s passing.
I listened to a podcast about an adult with autism, and the plan for what he would do after his mother’s passing. (Almost tears, office, must remain composed).
I listened to a podcast about an Iraqi war veteran seeking out a Muslim Student Association to change his ideas, and that lead to his relief from his crippling PTSD.
I talked to one of my students about his aspirations to become a filmmaker.
My grammar lessons didn’t totally flop. I added a few details to the book lesson; with mixed success but something else.
My students have correspondence from students in New Jersey! ☺
I had grandiose ideas about getting more English books, which I weighed against the neo-colonialist viewpoint. We do have a librarian now finally; I’ll let her keep the reigns unless I come up with a really solid idea.
I can’t make any promises that I will never return to my foxhole.
I can’t say I’ve done things all on my own, all with my own fortitude. I’ve had shoulders and guidance, good and bad. But, as many say, I’m nothing if not stubborn, and my fortitude does have something to do with it.
I’m still not revealing what 2012 has in store. Mostly, because it’s still forming and shaping, and the last thing I’d want to do is jump the gun and maim it.
It wasn’t a particularly sunny day in Bangkok, but it wasn’t raining in my neck of the concrete jungle, and the sun is on the way.