For some reason, you’ve decided to take an online graduate level course from another continent. We have the internet! Anything is possible!
Before you get too excited, here are some tips for surviving this endeavor:
1. Check the online course software two weeks before the start of the class.
2. Email your instructors well in advance and explain the situation.
3. Find out about any textbooks at least one month ahead of time if possible.
4. Determine how well the online course software loads in your country of residence.
5. Scope out at least half a dozen internet café alternatives to your usual haunts. The internet will go down. Everywhere.
6. Resist the temptation to have a hissy fit on social media when none of this works properly. Do as I say, not as I do.
In depth explanations and problems you might encounter:
1. Checking the online course software 1-2 months in advance is too soon. Checking the night before is too late.
2. You are not typical. Your instructor probably does not expect someone to take a class at an American, Midwest University from somewhere in Asia, online or not. So far I know of one program specifically designed for this purpose. But it still requires a much more stable internet presence (and a LOT more tuition dollars).
3. Online class does not mean 100% online material just yet, apparently. Silly me. See, almost the future. International textbook shipping is tricky, expensive, and sometimes not even possible.
4. University course websites are labor intensive for slower internet connections. Likewise, online textbook rental (this was not Amazon, nor was that an option) is copyright hyperactive, in beta testing, and extremely buggy. Also, apparently illegal for utilization outside North America, because you know, China might want to steal our ideas about No Child Left Behind or something. I wouldn’t recommend the CourseSmart software at the present time if another option is available. See International Shipping above.
5. Dry season internet is not monsoon season internet. The internet will die just because it’s raining. They will completely redo the wiring at school rendering it impossible to access for a week. Various Thai internet companies will proclaim for the millionth time they really are upgrading to 3G this time. The Thai censorship connection slow down. Your favorite internet café will lose signal. Starbucks in Thailand will charge an arm and a leg for you to use the internet regardless of whether you buy a beverage. Your internet SIM card will be corrupt and require replacement. And when you’ve finally fought through to your material, can you focus on the coursework?
6. Self-explanatory.
Besides the basic tech specifications, it should also be noted that while a foreign teacher in Thailand has a lighter teaching load than an American teacher in the states or an International school, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got that much more energy left for maintaining a compact summer course while teaching. Especially when you end up taking motosai (motorcycle) taxis all over town in search of the internet. It’s kind of exhausting. Though, an American at an International school or higher up the expat food chain would likely have access to more stable internet.
All that said, you’d think my summary would be never do this, right? Wrong. In fact, just to prove my sheer insanity, I’m starting another online graduate class shortly! Why am I doing this to myself? Some combination of renewing my teacher’s license in the long run and sheer masochism. Not the least of which, because neither my home state nor my current country of residence can pin down what on earth it is they want and expect from teachers in order to be ‘legal.’ And I’m rather partial to being legal(ish).
I will say that as far as textbook reading goes, I probably did a better job with this course than in any class throughout high school and undergrad. Progress in relation to attention span and information absorption? Maybe.
Believe you me, I’ve thought about walking down Khao Sarn Road and purchasing myself a Ph.D. in Horribleness and calling it a day.
Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet. Show all posts
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
How to Survive Bangkok as a Single White Female
1. Be Twitterific.
2. But try not to become an internet zombie.
3. Traffic and internet bandwidth will simultaneously bottleneck.
4. Get in the back of a Hoopdee.
5. Look Ma, No Hands!
6. Go ahead, flip him off if he’s tailing you.
7. Eat the street food.
8. You’re going to get sick, deal with it.
9. And the hospital may overcharge you. Go any way.
10. Tit jokes are the best.
11. Dance, lip sync, and be ridiculous with your iPod in public. Everyone is already staring, you’re a white girl in Asia.
1. How do you find out what’s going on in Bangkok, or elsewhere in Thailand? You might get some clue from the two English language news venues. But for the real down low, fellow expat’s twitter feed. Seriously. First responders.
2. You’re going to have to learn how to play work. Yeah, we actually work, but sometimes there are gaps. Very, very wide gaps. Which, when it’s functioning, turn into surf the internet time. Try not to let your brain turn to mush watching Lonely Island’s “Like a Boss” for the umpteenth time. No matter how much you laugh out loud. Though, I am curious to see how all the foreign teachers fare as SIMS living in the same house, as programmed by the South African teacher. Yeah our job rocks.
3. But, the internet won’t always work. And it’ll stop working in some sort of horrible synchronization with the ebb and flow, or dead standstill, of Bangkok traffic. And it is maddening. I understand why everyone here is constantly staring at their smart phone. That is their internet surfing unwind time, because it is so late by the time they finish their commute home.
4. Hail the ricketiest taxi you possibly can. He’s been around the block a few times, he knows his stuff, and he’s less likely to harass and/or molest you. On that note, get in the back, especially as a single white female. Screw seatbelts, unfortunately.
5. Yeah, motorbikes are dangerous. But they are efficient, fun, and hey look, he has to keep both his hands on the handlebars to drive! Bonus!
6. So you’ve got another guy tailing you. He’s not getting it. From a blog post I read the other day, even North Koreans understand a good clear, “F&$# Off!” and flash of the bird. Sometimes guys can’t take any other hint. Screw cultural understanding, there are limits no one should have to put up with.
On that note, after months of such advances from Thais and avoiding clubs, you might forget how to respond to being hit on by a white guy. Wait what just happened there? Did I ever actually know how to process that? Brain are the dumb.
7. It’s not just the street food that will make you sick. You might get sick from a restaurant, breathing the air, obviously working with students…stop living in a bubble. You don’t have to eat everything, but avoiding everything is overkill. Some of my best I’m sick comfort food is the Chinese style soup sold out of metal carts on the sidewalk.
8. You’re going to get sick. Or rather, I’m going to get sick. It doesn’t particularly matter what country I live in. As my colleague put it, “yeah, but everything makes you sick!” Don’t let that stop you. I waited long enough fearing I couldn’t deal with SE Asia with all of my health problems. Now I wonder why I waited so long.
9. The white person overcharge. It sucks, it especially sucks when you’re sick and don’t realize it is happening. But it’s not US prices, and if you really need to go, don’t spend 10 days hugging the toilet in denial that you need to go. On that note – that 7 kilos you lost was good health insurance!
10. When all else fails, remember, ‘This Is Thailand’ explains everything. And nothing. And everything.
11. You want to fit in with the culture. Well get over that. You are white. You are ‘sui,’ you look like baby, you are all kinds of odd observations, stereotypes and representations of all of the countries that white people hail from. But you are always farang. And singing along to your mp3 player, skipping and dancing as you walk down the street is certainly not the worst you can do to represent your fellow white man.
2. But try not to become an internet zombie.
3. Traffic and internet bandwidth will simultaneously bottleneck.
4. Get in the back of a Hoopdee.
5. Look Ma, No Hands!
6. Go ahead, flip him off if he’s tailing you.
7. Eat the street food.
8. You’re going to get sick, deal with it.
9. And the hospital may overcharge you. Go any way.
10. Tit jokes are the best.
11. Dance, lip sync, and be ridiculous with your iPod in public. Everyone is already staring, you’re a white girl in Asia.
1. How do you find out what’s going on in Bangkok, or elsewhere in Thailand? You might get some clue from the two English language news venues. But for the real down low, fellow expat’s twitter feed. Seriously. First responders.
2. You’re going to have to learn how to play work. Yeah, we actually work, but sometimes there are gaps. Very, very wide gaps. Which, when it’s functioning, turn into surf the internet time. Try not to let your brain turn to mush watching Lonely Island’s “Like a Boss” for the umpteenth time. No matter how much you laugh out loud. Though, I am curious to see how all the foreign teachers fare as SIMS living in the same house, as programmed by the South African teacher. Yeah our job rocks.
3. But, the internet won’t always work. And it’ll stop working in some sort of horrible synchronization with the ebb and flow, or dead standstill, of Bangkok traffic. And it is maddening. I understand why everyone here is constantly staring at their smart phone. That is their internet surfing unwind time, because it is so late by the time they finish their commute home.
4. Hail the ricketiest taxi you possibly can. He’s been around the block a few times, he knows his stuff, and he’s less likely to harass and/or molest you. On that note, get in the back, especially as a single white female. Screw seatbelts, unfortunately.
5. Yeah, motorbikes are dangerous. But they are efficient, fun, and hey look, he has to keep both his hands on the handlebars to drive! Bonus!
6. So you’ve got another guy tailing you. He’s not getting it. From a blog post I read the other day, even North Koreans understand a good clear, “F&$# Off!” and flash of the bird. Sometimes guys can’t take any other hint. Screw cultural understanding, there are limits no one should have to put up with.
On that note, after months of such advances from Thais and avoiding clubs, you might forget how to respond to being hit on by a white guy. Wait what just happened there? Did I ever actually know how to process that? Brain are the dumb.
7. It’s not just the street food that will make you sick. You might get sick from a restaurant, breathing the air, obviously working with students…stop living in a bubble. You don’t have to eat everything, but avoiding everything is overkill. Some of my best I’m sick comfort food is the Chinese style soup sold out of metal carts on the sidewalk.
8. You’re going to get sick. Or rather, I’m going to get sick. It doesn’t particularly matter what country I live in. As my colleague put it, “yeah, but everything makes you sick!” Don’t let that stop you. I waited long enough fearing I couldn’t deal with SE Asia with all of my health problems. Now I wonder why I waited so long.
9. The white person overcharge. It sucks, it especially sucks when you’re sick and don’t realize it is happening. But it’s not US prices, and if you really need to go, don’t spend 10 days hugging the toilet in denial that you need to go. On that note – that 7 kilos you lost was good health insurance!
10. When all else fails, remember, ‘This Is Thailand’ explains everything. And nothing. And everything.
11. You want to fit in with the culture. Well get over that. You are white. You are ‘sui,’ you look like baby, you are all kinds of odd observations, stereotypes and representations of all of the countries that white people hail from. But you are always farang. And singing along to your mp3 player, skipping and dancing as you walk down the street is certainly not the worst you can do to represent your fellow white man.
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